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Posts
...Ive been having a crisis of fate lately. And that's so ironic cause there ain't much fate in me to begin with. But I guess you can only call this a crisis of fate. How did it began? Well, glad you asked...This is not going to be so long, I'm going to keep my pouting to the minimum. I was at school, and this university was visiting. I am a senior, so I have to go to this things. So they started talking and well, I panicked. Right then and there. Of course nobody found out. I was just the weird girl who reads too many books and is too hyper to really pay attention. But I panicked. The big question hit me...
Why bother?
In the big picture, why even bother? You try to do your best, but this world is to messed up, for lack of a better word, that people who don't deserve something usually are the ones who get it, and people who work hard, and deserve it, don't get shit. Why bother if we are all going to die anyways? People work so hard for something, and then, it's like, it doesn't matter to anyone but you. And you want it to matter, but this world is SO big, that what you do counts with very little weight. Its just a drop of sand in an endless beach.
So I was in a foul mood for days since my optimistic bottom was malfunctioning. I did badly on HW that any other week would have been fine with me. I didn't read enough, about anything. Miracle I finished Envy, just so I could really get away from this world I guess. And my review didn't even compare to what my reviews are usually like! I noticed, but oh well. I'm sorry.
You see, it's hard to find a silver lining. Will I get into college? Maybe. Will I get into the college of my choosing? Maaayyybe. Will I get lucky and get financial aid so good I can GO to college? Agh, chances are very slim. So I got a crisis of fate. Or whatever. Anyways, I seem to have found a way to repair my positive bottom, cause I'm back. And trying to not go there again.
I started reading One Foot In The Grave today, cause I was dying to, and well, I ate the book. I will post my review tomorrow, now it's 3 a.m. and well, I would like to get some sleep.
Why the superman picture? I was feeling a bit random.
Thank you for reading, if you have, you are my hero-Superman, Hero, Get it? *winks*.
Oh, I have been there. My issue is that I wanted to study something fun in the vein of botany, literature or become major linguist. But in my country choices for these are slim and realization is even slimmer, so I had to sign up for economy and hope that it will be something I won't regret. I hope that I can become something else via my behind the curtain activities like reviewing and writing.
ReplyDeleteAnyway the point is that life is never fair. Those that are blessed with material things and power and influence, often are being robbed of something spiritual the wholesome, who deserve rewards for their hard work, don't get. This balances itself out.
Oh twin, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you were going through all this. My migraines have really been kicking my ass lately so I haven't been getting on much. Listen, if you need to talk I'm here for ya girl. Even if I'm not on MSN, drop me an email and I'll make sure to get back to you. Even if all you need is to rant and get it out your system.
ReplyDeleteLuvs ya. :D
~Briana
I hear ya, Tacshima. The future is uncertain, life's too big to comprehend, and we're all so small, so all you can do is your best and say, "Screw it!" when it comes to caring what other people think. Keep your chin up. You're gonna be fine. *huggles♥huggles*
ReplyDeleteZG
Oh, don't worry, hun. I'm sure we all feel like that sometimes - I know I do. It can definitely feel like whatever you do will never be enough but you have to remember that if you want to do something that *will* change the world, you can. I mean, look at you now - you do this blog and influence so many people with your reading choices - I know I've put a few items on my wishlist because you've liked them. It's a small thing but it could be the beginning of a big future :)
ReplyDelete**hugs** You'll be fine. Honestly. :)
Welcome to the Cat and Bones fan club. I love all of books in the Night Huntress series, I owe three of them. Absolutely some of the best books ever written. Great blog by the way.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't sweat the small stuff! There were a lot of things I stressed over in high school that just don't seem to be that big of a deal anymore. Also, don't worry about college. Let me tell you a little about me. I had a 4.5 GPA in high school, instead of going off to university I stayed in my hometown (that I hate) and started going to community college so I could be around my friends and family. I don't really keep in touch with my friends from high school anymore, and at 21, I still haven't finished my first two years of college so that I can transfer to a unversity. I graduated at 17-I should be graduating from college as early as this year or next year! But you know what? This is how I see it: I want to teach high school (crazy, I know) but I figure, in a sense, the longer it takes me the better, because at 22 no high school students are going to listen to me and respect me, so while I desperately miss school (I know I'm a nerd) I'm decided not to worry about it. I'll get there when I'll get there, and that's that. So, anyway, after my long rant I hope you feel a little better about your situation. Hang in there! I truly believe that things happen for a reason, and everything will work itself out. =)
ReplyDeleteI remember my senior year was stressful as well. I HATE test taking and so the SATs for me were brutal. My mom sometimes volunteered at the SAT, little did we know that her being there was a big NO NO. To sum it up I finally got the score I needed only to be told that because my mom was in the building it would have to be canceled, even though she was anywhere near the room I was in. It seemed like the end of the world, and I kinda stopped caring to. My councilor contacted the SAT bored and they said that they would count it....then a week later they took it back. But then when I went to my college and told them this somewhat crazy story they accepted me lol. Good things do happen hon you just gotta hold in there, there's always gonna be days when it feels like everything's goin to hell, the best we can ask for is that those days are balanced out with great ones too. :)
ReplyDeleteAw Taschima! Never let the crappy negative stuff make you think that life's meaningless. That's life's way of trying to kick your ass when really, you're the one in control of your fate. And don't fret about college (I know I put off worrying about it until the beginning of my senior year-that's when I kicked myself into overdrive). The best thing you can do to for yourself is check out the places yourself and see how you like it (relying on statistics only is THE WORST THING you could do). You can get a feel for the places and stuff.
ReplyDeleteNo Blood Promise?! Why, that's horrible! You should totally kick the UPS/Fed-Ex man's butt when he gets there. Can I help? >]
Aw Taschima! Never let the crappy negative stuff make you think that life's meaningless. That's life's way of trying to kick your ass when really, you're the one in control of your fate. And don't fret about college (I know I put off worrying about it until the beginning of my senior year-that's when I kicked myself into overdrive). The best thing you can do to for yourself is check out the places yourself and see how you like it (relying on statistics only is THE WORST THING you could do). You can get a feel for the places and stuff.
ReplyDeleteNo Blood Promise?! Why, that's horrible! You should totally kick the UPS/Fed-Ex man's butt when he gets there. Can I help? >]
Oh man, believe me I have been there! I am pretty sure we all have for that matter. However you always need to look at the bigger picture, and I know this sounds selfish but think of yourself. Pick a major you would love to have a career in, not because of how much you will make, because if you love what you are doing it takes away all the negative things (ie. money, overtime, ect.) Oh and those people who get everything handed to them in life will end up getting caught and having nothing (my cousin is one of those people). I know it sounds selfish however you gotta pick a college and major YOUR happy with, and don't worry you have plenty of time to freak out when your older! Like Me lol!
ReplyDeleteOh and if you end up picking a major you do not like there is no fret, you can always change it. Also on financial aid, when you choose a school a person is assigned to you who basically does all the work for you, and there are so many grants, scholarships, ect you can get to pay for school! So just enjoy your senior year, enjoy your friends, and leave worrying until you are about to graduate college =) because graduating High School only happens once and you don't want to forget it! Plus any college questions you have I will be here for you girl =)
ReplyDeleteAwww, honey!
ReplyDeleteSorry you had a crappy week. Senior year was really stressful for me too, but it does get better (somewhat):) lol.
Love the Superman picture. I'm a bit of a DC geek.
Yeah i totally get what ur saying. Just a few days ago i fell apart. I went 2 my counselor and was like "i need some help w/ college & stuff" she was like "i can't help u" WTF!! man.
ReplyDeleteDude,I went home pissed, I told me mom i wanted 2 drop out. She was like no.. blah blah college. I was like I don't have no money, i don't even no what college 2 go 2. I said the EXACT thing WHAT IS THE POINT. They tell us about this "future" but in the end they can't help. that's BS.
This is the 2nd week of HS, I haven't done SH*t in class. I have this stupid essay 2 write, driver's license test. IDK T,
we're N the same boat. all i want is a book, sum candy, and a BIG pillow. U can join me lol
It's a good thing i have my friends support, I just needed this 3 day weekend u know? I hope everything works out 4 u*hug*
The thing about getting a college degree is that not every career needs one, but all employers want their employees to have them. This comes up a lot when I talk to my fellow students. No one really needs a degree in English to be a writer or a degree in Art to be a graphic designer.
ReplyDeleteI'm studying Writing because it is what I enjoy most, and I know the degree will help me get a good job on my road to becoming a full time author. The courses I'm taking also challenge and stimulate my mind.
So I think the question you want to ask yourself is whether or not you NEED college to succeed in what you want to do with your life. If you don't know what career you want, that's fine. Don't go to college just to get something you won't use. I mean, you'll always be able to use any knowledge you gain, but don't go into crippling debt for something that you don't think will help you amount to anything or won't give you fulfillment.
wow i think you just summed up what has been going through my head these last couple of weeks since school started. I guess for now just enjoy senior year and whatever happens happens. I
ReplyDeleteThank you all *wipes out tear of joy* You all are truly awesome.
ReplyDelete@Jazz I think of architecture for my mayor, and English for a double mayor. Im between being an architect or an editor.